Wednesday night means I get a free pass from the girlfriend; that’s right I am allowed, unsupervised to roam the free world (well Swindon at least ). The possibilities are endless with a whole host of nightclubs and titty bars to quench my thirst for school night action.
Stuff that.. I decide to share my night of freedom surrounded by a crew of hairy guys around a make shift poker table. Yes it’s the weekly inaugural home poker night. Most of the group are of Italian descent, so in between the hand gestures and raised voices we manage to get whip up some tip top nosh.
The food situation is always a topic of mass debate, it’s like a scene from goodfella’s; remember the part where Henry and Paulie are cooking in Prison???:
James own’s a pizza takeaway, he has a special system where he prepares the dough so thin, it melts in your mouth. Tony the host, normally whips up a selection of snacks; he does a mean bacon buttie, but I feel he puts way to much daddies brown sauce on top…all the same it’s still a very good snack.
After a grand feast, we get down to business - no limit texas holdem is our game of choice. The game is varied in style and skill; Tony V is known as “to tight”, only raising with big hands, he’ll never raise with junk, although he does tend to open his mouth when he is bluffing. Vince “turbo” Fruci, ironically named for his slowness at the table. Vince is partial to high grade super skunk, which means he regularly misdeals and acts out of turn.
In keeping with Mafioso tradition, Little Stevie an Irish Italian doesn’t receive a regular invite. He is told week after week that the game is full, however we joke that he needs to be a “made man”e.g 100% Italian (pinkie ring, fila shell tracksuit top, ) Steve is one of those guys who can drive you insane with his incessant questioning, its probably similar to being on Columbo’s suspect list ; expect to get questioned about absolutely every detail, you will also need to verify everything 20 times before he feels comfortable; “where is the dealer button”, are the black ones hundreds or tens?..
Tommy “2 times” (a nickname from his ability to double up) is a capable, solid player. Tom stands at 6ft 5 and 17 stone, this means if he doesn’t win the hand, you can guarantee he’ll win the fight in car park ( I am still trying to convince him we can make serious money at a trailer park just off M4 ).
The king fish of the group is Pete “Vegas”; I grew up with Peter, so I know him very well, he’s a simple man, with simple taste. Pete absolutely hates being pushed around or dictated to. This usually spills out onto the poker table. I remember a particular hand where I had raised with 8 4, Pete smooth called me. I made a continuation bet of the pot , Pete called followed up on the turn. Even after I announced “all in” I couldn’t push him off his hand. Pete finally revealed his monster; he had sent me packing with jack high…..a fucking shitty jack high - Perhaps the “ I shagged your sister” joke had worn thin”?. If this was the mob, Pete would definitely be “sleeping with the fishes”, but then again I would probably get clipped/whacked/garrotted for playing 8-4….enough already!.
Stuff that.. I decide to share my night of freedom surrounded by a crew of hairy guys around a make shift poker table. Yes it’s the weekly inaugural home poker night. Most of the group are of Italian descent, so in between the hand gestures and raised voices we manage to get whip up some tip top nosh.
The food situation is always a topic of mass debate, it’s like a scene from goodfella’s; remember the part where Henry and Paulie are cooking in Prison???:
James own’s a pizza takeaway, he has a special system where he prepares the dough so thin, it melts in your mouth. Tony the host, normally whips up a selection of snacks; he does a mean bacon buttie, but I feel he puts way to much daddies brown sauce on top…all the same it’s still a very good snack.
After a grand feast, we get down to business - no limit texas holdem is our game of choice. The game is varied in style and skill; Tony V is known as “to tight”, only raising with big hands, he’ll never raise with junk, although he does tend to open his mouth when he is bluffing. Vince “turbo” Fruci, ironically named for his slowness at the table. Vince is partial to high grade super skunk, which means he regularly misdeals and acts out of turn.
In keeping with Mafioso tradition, Little Stevie an Irish Italian doesn’t receive a regular invite. He is told week after week that the game is full, however we joke that he needs to be a “made man”e.g 100% Italian (pinkie ring, fila shell tracksuit top, ) Steve is one of those guys who can drive you insane with his incessant questioning, its probably similar to being on Columbo’s suspect list ; expect to get questioned about absolutely every detail, you will also need to verify everything 20 times before he feels comfortable; “where is the dealer button”, are the black ones hundreds or tens?..
Tommy “2 times” (a nickname from his ability to double up) is a capable, solid player. Tom stands at 6ft 5 and 17 stone, this means if he doesn’t win the hand, you can guarantee he’ll win the fight in car park ( I am still trying to convince him we can make serious money at a trailer park just off M4 ).
The king fish of the group is Pete “Vegas”; I grew up with Peter, so I know him very well, he’s a simple man, with simple taste. Pete absolutely hates being pushed around or dictated to. This usually spills out onto the poker table. I remember a particular hand where I had raised with 8 4, Pete smooth called me. I made a continuation bet of the pot , Pete called followed up on the turn. Even after I announced “all in” I couldn’t push him off his hand. Pete finally revealed his monster; he had sent me packing with jack high…..a fucking shitty jack high - Perhaps the “ I shagged your sister” joke had worn thin”?. If this was the mob, Pete would definitely be “sleeping with the fishes”, but then again I would probably get clipped/whacked/garrotted for playing 8-4….enough already!.
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